My Favorite Studio Ghibli Films

On the back of my recent Earwig and the Witch review that I just posted, I'm making this new post for my top five Ghibli films. This is based on my own opinions and personal enjoyment. It has nothing to do with what films were the most impactful to the industry, made the most money, or are beloved by the majority. These films are my comfort food. I've already given my basic opinion on Laputa: Castle in the Sky and Princess Mononoke in my Earwig review. Sorry, but I stan Lady Eboshi and would burn that entire forest to ashes for her smile.

She's my Queen. No homo. :)

So, uh, with that out of the way, I'm gonna start listing my faves. I'm not really giving too much thought to the specific order.

A village so comfy you'd expect a Titan to come and smash it.

1. Howl's Moving Castle (2004)

I'd say this is my current top favorite. I say "current" because I think it changes sometimes. Before, it might've been Kiki's Delivery Service or something like that. I recall seeing this in the theater when it came to the U.S. and being kinda disappointed. So it's really grown on me in the past few years to say the least.

I think what I look for the most in my Ghibli films these days is the pure aesthetics. This film has quaint villages; the "moving castle" which is the most comfy hunk of junk I've ever seen in a film; the beautiful flower field; and the castle grounds that are stately without being intimidating. This film makes me want go to the hat shop and trim hats with Sophie or sit down with a cup of coffee and a blanket in front of Calcifer's fire.

I like the characters for the most part. Sophie is bland and inoffensive without being boring. I think in part because she takes things in relative stride. "Oh, I'm old? Better go" and then she just packs her food and leaves. She has a tiny bit of mischief in her that balances her well with the apprentice boy, the snarky fire, and the dramatic Howl. The Witch of Waste evokes a sense of danger at the beginning of the film, sympathy after being stripped of her powers, and then anger when she takes Howl's heart. (Though I forgive her when she gives it back.)

I don't really watch the dub. Billy Crystal and Christian Bale kinda pull me outta my vibe. They aren't terrible or anything but I prefer the Japanese language.

Sophie and Howl falling in love is a bit weird. It feels too sudden but they do mesh well together so I can buy it to an extent. I don't really watch this film for the love story or lack thereof anyway. I just like to sit and chill out with it.

This room has the best use of weed I've ever seen.

2. The Secret World of Arrietty (2010)

Just look at that room, man!  Look at that room. This film vibes. All sort of beautiful settings abound: the houses of both Arrietty and Sho exude with coziness and the fields, garden, and wildness outside is such a treat. The story's not exactly impactful so I think that's why this one doesn't really win people over. Like Totoro has a dying mom and Spirited Away has a little girl saving her family and you know this stuff from the get-go of those films. This film is all "little people can't let the big ol' human beans sees thems." And thus, it doesn't feel like much despite that it does get some stakes at the ending half. 

Apparently, there's two English dubs including a Brit dub with Saorise Ronan and Tom Holland and I really want to watch it some day. Like Howl's Moving Castle, I don't care for the English dub we got so much. But with this film, I like the dub even less so. It's probably the music that does it to me.

I don't recall if this movie came to theaters in my area at all and I don't remember watching it in a theater. If it ever gets a re-release (post-pandemic), I would love to go see it on a big screen.

Lofi Beats to Study and Relax To. No takedown pls.

3. Whisper of the Heart (1995)

This film is really damn touching. It, above most other Ghibli films in my opinion, feels incredibly personal but not like Only Yesterday which smacks your face with the protag's past. This film feels like we're being silently invited into an important period of time in this girl's life, omnisciently recounting this girl's childhood when she starts becoming the writer she knows she is. Or maybe it's more bias on my part because I like to write, too. Either way, it's a sweet little story with a touch of fantasy and young love.

Of course it has those Ghibli aesthetics: Shizuku's family's cramp apartment; the school grounds and the library; the quaint shop full of curiosities; and the snug, homey streets of town. The characters are nice with some of them having a light touch of sass. 

The dub's okay and has a Cary Elwes cat. You can't say no to a Cary Elwes cat. Sadly, it's the only film ever directed by Yoshifumi Kondo. And double-sadly it has a sequel (The Cat Returns) that left me feeling kinda meh. I think it's due to the sequel being a much more fantastical story than this film and I liked this film for the opposite reason. The sequel exclusively follows the Cary Elwes cat so it's still worth a watch. I have yet to find anyone that has The Cat Returns as a favorite tho'.

That feel when has talking cat but you can no longer understand him.

4. Kiki's Delivery Service (1989)

I think this might've been the first Ghibli film I ever watched and for that reason was my first favorite by default. Not that it's a bad one to have as a default favorite. I would say it's a nice gateway Ghibli film. It's fantastical without being too fantastical: Kiki rides her broom and can talk to her cat but I can't think of any other instances of magic we actually see. It's also adventurous without being too adventurous: Kiki leaves home for a quaint seaside city. Aside from a jaunt in the forest, she doesn't really go anywhere else. And it has drama without being too dramatic: Kiki loses her powers, becomes depressed, but then is happy again. 

I think a lot of the other Ghibli films, for better or for worse, have a level of Japanese culture that makes them a little less accessible than Kiki is. Not that I don't appreciate Japanese culture but films with less cultural nuance do feel more universal.

As for the English dub, the actors do a good enough job. This movie was released in an English dub on VHS in 1998. Phil Hartman voices Jiji and while I love Phil Hartman, I can concede he's not really right for the role. (RIP Phil Hartman. Jiji was his last voice role and I was a Simpsons fan at the time so I was very familiar with who he was.) To add insult to injury for fans of this film, the English dub did make some changes and take some liberties which was more common back in 1998. So even though I'd say this is the most accessible Ghibli film, there was a need to make it more accessible. This film's dub was then tweaked for later re-release to sort of course-correct back in 2010. Which is fine... because I stick the subs for this one now anyway.

License and registration please. Just kidding. No one drives me.

5. My Neighbor Totoro (1988)

Gonna be honest here. I did not like My Neighbor Totoro when I first watched it. Firstly, it took me forever to actually watch it. When it was released in the U.S., I just didn't care. The pictures you see in regards to this film show this weird, round rabbit-looking thing and two little girls. And it's just... what is this? And why would I watch it?

I ended up taking Japanese classes in college and our sensei put on some of this film. This brings me to the second issue: those opening credits started and I wondered what the hell I was looking at. Hearing that song, it sounded like this movie was for toddlers or something. Again, what was this about and why should I watch it? So I zoned out. I didn't know what to think of this back then.

I don't know what exactly made me watch this again. It was many years later and probably when my sister and I were going on a Ghibli binge. So we watched My Neighbor Totoro with the Disney dub around its release in 2006 and we really loved it. I definitely see the appeal and timelessness it has now.

That cozy house, the beautiful country side, that sweet family, and those odd forest critters give this film such a nice touch. I don't really care for Totoro himself but he's actually not in the film all that much. Susuwatari and Cat Bus for the win.

While it may be heretical to say this, I like the English dub more than the sub. I'm not even a fan of the Fanning sisters and the older girl plays her role kinda stiff in my opinion. Even so, the English dub is prettty damn decent and the younger Fanning girl does a fantastic job as Mei.

Kurotowa and Princess Kushana are best. No lies detected here.

Honorable Mention:

Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind (1984) - Does this really count as a Ghibli film? No? Yes? Well, I really like it either way. Especially Kushana and Kurotowa, played by The Bride and Jack Skellington in the English dub. Princess Kushana is everything I really look for in a fantasy princess: she has a sense of personal duty, she's tough, she suffers, she becomes ruthless and then she becomes understanding. Nothing against Nausicaa herself, but Nausicaa didn't feel like she had growth the way Kushana did. Beginning of film: Nausicaa love forest. Nausicaa protect bugs. End of film: Nausicaa love forest. Nausicaa protect bugs.

Also in the dub is Patrick Stewart as Lord Yupa. I liked his performance here, too. The English dub does have Shia of all people as Asbel but, er, just ignore him. I feel like this movie pulls off the themes that Laputa and Princess Mononoke tried to much better.

Spirited Away (2001) - I had a lovely time watching this in the theater when it came to the U.S. and I dig the aesthetics. I'm just not into the story so much. After halfway through, I kinda check out. It's like once she gets on that train, my brain also got on the train but never got off of the train. Heh. But it's really a beautiful film about two disgusting pigs and their nameless daughter.

Earwig and the Witch (2020) - Yes, I liked it enough to make it a favorite. I wrote a review in my earlier post. I think it's flawed but still solid.

Whatever else I've not discussed, I either still like it but not as a favorite (such as From Up on Poppy Hill, Porco Rosso, Only Yesterday, Pom Poko) or haven't seen it (The Tale of Princess Kaguya, When Marnie Was There) or am indifferent for one reason or another. If you're so inclined, comment with your favorite Ghibli film and why you love it. Unless it's Princess Mononoke. Ha ha.

Earwig and the Angry Inch

Note: The following blog post adapted from a post I made over at my lil' dead forum. 

"Six inches forward and five inches back/ I've got a, got an angry inch."

I don't like Laputa: Castle in the Sky and I don't know if that's okay. I also don't like Princess Mononoke. San is annoying. She's literally "bitchy Nausicaa raised by wolves" and I only rewatch that film because Lady Eboshi's my girl-crush. If all of that invalidates my opinion (and my taste), so be it. Read no more.

That being said, I think this little film is pretty nice. It had heaps of expectations on it and on director Goro Miyazaki as well. It's a Ghibli film and people are hungry for the next Spirited Away or Kiki's Delivery Service. We're in trying times right now and we want the comfy vistas; awesome bg music; an adorable plucky heroine; and other forms of Ghibli cuteness to sort of be this big ol' hug telling us things will be okay.

Earwig and the Witch is not that hug. It's a reassuring pat on the back by a very good friend and I'll take it. The film story is an adaptation of a book of the same name by Diana Wynne-Jones, the writer of the book Howl's Moving Castle which also became a Ghibli film. I like Howl's Moving Castle so I decided to check out Earwig and the Witch but only found an audio book.

It's actually not a very long story at all. The gist is "little spoiled orphaned witch Earwig unslaves self from weird-ass foster parents Bella Yaga and the Mandrake." There's some magic involved. Emphasis on some.

So going bit by bit here...

Look at that beautiful 3D animation, folks. It's love. It's life.

Animation/Visuals - This would've been much better with a more 2D look but I'm sure we all knew that already. The fact this was 3D grinded a lot of gears. The CG unfortunately does look a bit like a cheap Direct to DVD featurette from the early 2000's but it actually has a quality I can appreciate. The weird playdoh liquids, the stiff hair, the rubbery-looking plants, Bella Yaga's strange high-heeled Wellies... like, it's not beautiful but it's not ugly either. The textures sorta fascinate me.

2D, however, would've allowed a greater range of expressions and more cuteness than what the 3D here was able to give us. Earwig can only arch those pencil-thin eyebrows so many times until we need her to make a different facial expression. The movements sometimes feel a bit stiff. And while we're given nice settings such as the quaint village orphanage, Bella Yaga's spell room, the house garden, and the comfy kitchen, they don't quite have the vibrancy of similar settings provided to us in 2D such as the inside of Howl's Castle or Kiki's bedroom. Every background in Earwig feels dull like the town is perpetually cloudy or the rooms don't have enough light in them. 

And as for the food, there were no complaints. Only Vanillaware rivals Ghibli when it comes to yummy-looking food. The fish and chips, fry bread, and bread and cheese legit made me hungry.

It looks dingy in the picture but it would in my belly, too.

Music - I found the music jarring and I actually like jarring music. I guess I don't expect loud twanging electric guitars to be mixed into a Ghibli film. I think they got the era right (sorta like a 60's/70's thing) but the instruments are clashing about and I don't find it suits the story. What's there isn't awful but it's not very Ghibli-esque. People expect Joe Hisashi and they're not gonna get him. He's busy on Papa Hayao's film.

Cool, it's my favorite thing ever: a neato band that's completely irrelevant!

The music could've been "fixed" by making the musician characters folk rock types and matching the incidental background music to the general vibe. Think Fleetwood Mac's "Dreams" or Heart's "Dreamboat Annie." As is, I'm not feeling it. "Don't Disturb Me," the main track that plays, is really overplayed by the end of the film. It's a nice song but I found myself sick of it by the end. This could've easily been fixed by writing a couple of short snippets to play from Earwig's cassette tape as if the band had other music and were more fleshed out. As it is, it seems like these people literally wrote and recorded one song. Maybe that was the point through.

Matthew Crawley died so Thomas the Cat could live. Or something.

Voice Acting - "Nonsense!" said in English by Japanese ladies is gold. Everybody was good. Both the English and Japanese tracks. I saw someone picking on Dan Stevens. Pick on him for leaving Downton Abbey. I'm salty, okay? He was my favorite character. But he's just fine as Thomas the Cat. Jiji's the superior Ghibli black cat anyway. Thomas having another voice actor wasn't gonna change that. Didn't care for the English singing but the actress worked with what she was given.

This is such a lovely scene. Enjoy it for two seconds at the end of the film.

Story - It's kinda hard to really adapt this story to be a comfy film when it's a weird abuse narrative. There's also no major climax to the story other than Earwig getting the Mandrake pissed off enough to make Bella Yaga agreeable so Earwig can go to normie school and learn magic on the side. She's basically a slave but in the "I'm a slave and that's kinda annoying" sorta way. Bella Yaga just goes to an orphanage to get this forced child servant and the Mandrake doesn't give a shit as long as he's not "disturbed." (In other words don't piss him off. Yikes.) All that shit's just weird. I guess cause I expect it more from a Dahl story than a Ghibli adaptation.

Earwig's mother doesn't play a real part in the book although the reader is informed clearly the woman's a witch and on the run from other witches. The author died before she could write any sequels so unknown what the plan was regarding reuniting Earwig with her mom or if that'd even happen.

The main story itself was adequately adapted and the musician angle was actually a nice touch. (The musician element in this movie is absent from the book.) It rounded out everything and gives the viewer more on the mother. And while that's all great, it feels like this movie never revs up and goes anywhere. 

I saw and read a few reviews and the guys reviewing it all had that general consensus of "okay, now what" after it was done. I think becoming familiar with the book tempered my expectations enough to enjoy this for what it was and appreciate the extra tidbits we got.

Earwig scrubbing me.

Characters - The main heroine Earwig's about two degrees less likeable than Sen/Chihiro from Spirited Away. She's brattier and manipulative but not completely unlikeable. She certainly will be few people's favorite witch or Ghibli heroine. She at least has a personality which, in an age full of graham-cracker crust heroines, is all I really ask.

    Thomas the black cat is all right but I think they could've made him much cuter.

    Bella Yaga is The Witch of the Waste + the two old witches in Spirited Away + Manic Panic Rockabilly blue hair dye + some retro-looking clothes. Put all of that in a bowl, age her down, give her a drum kit, and make her perpetually on the rag. That's Bella Yaga in a nutshell. She seems okay in the end but it does leave the viewer wondering if she's mentally ill. Like she'd just adopt a slave from the orphanage and be an asshole when she's capable of being cool and nice? It's weird. I wanted more "cool Bella Yaga" and way less "jerk Bella Yaga." And she's a giant jerk-ass for most of this movie.

   The Mandrake (a.k.a the tall dude with glasses) doesn't have much to him but I like his general design. His personality is MEH. "Don't disturb me." I wish Earwig had kicked him in the pants. Him summoning demons to bring him food of all things is neat though. The little demons are adorable and wish we got more of them. Shame we didn't.

   Earwig's Mom seems both really awesome and really awful. On one hand, she a gorgeous red-haired rocker chick. On the other, she ditched her kid at an orphanage. Was there a reason she couldn't leave the kid with Bella Yaga and the Mandrake? Why was the Mandrake's car chasing her? I hope you enjoy unanswered questions.

This demon here givin' me some Sheldon from "Garfield and Friends" realness.

Advertising - Gotta add this because we gotta talk about it. The way this is being marketed is crazy as hell. It appears to be a rock musical and it's not. It also appears to be sold as a "find your mom" narrative and it's not that either. It's not Harry Potter but it's also not Kiki.

Kids will like this movie. People familiar with the story knows it's not going anywhere and will appreciate this adaptation. But the majority that aren't in one of those two categories is in for some confusion and disappointment. The ads showing Earwig with a microphone in front of a band really did it a disservice. I know the name of the game is to make people want to watch it but you can't promise some rock 'n roll adventure and not deliver on it.

Supposedly, Goro would like to do a series. I can't find where I read that or verify it's true but this being a tv movie in Japan lends credence to that, I think. If so, I'd love to see more. Since Diana Wynne-Jones didn't get to finish this story, it'd be nice if Goro Miyazaki did.

Using my acorn rating scale, I give it a 4 out of 5 for a solid effort.

Dinner for Schmucks: a movie for dicks

I won't be seeing Dinner for Schmucks. Ever. I've already seen the French Veber original, "Le dîner de cons", so yeah I'm biased.

I'm not completely adverse to movie remakes either. Really, I'm not. It's always interesting to see a new spin or take on something, especially something good. I think Veber's film was ripe for a remake. I realize changes must be made when something is redone, but I swear Hollywood has the annoying knack of changing the wrong goddamn thing.

1. Why the hell did we ever make it to the actual dinner? That's never what it was truly about. Is it just an excuse to parade out all of the freaks. No thanks. By throwing in all of these other idiots, doesn't the film thereby make us a guest at the Dinner Game, laughing at these poor fools' expense and thus ruining the entire point?

2. Production Budget: $69 M. For a movie about rich guys who invite idiots to dinner? And actual people shelled out $69 million bucks to make this shit? Those people deserve to die.

3. A neat and tidy Hollywood ending. In fact, it seems they went and gave out as many happy endings as possible. The original ending was happy enough: Shit just kinda leveled out and the characters were left with a double-edged gift of personal insight. In Schmucks there's a marriage, a new relationship, and a host of other sappy stupid-ass shit. Then the appointed villain is labeled a "loser", which again missed the fucking point of the original. The fact is that the main guy in the French film gets screwed over so badly because HE DESERVED IT. That was the idea. He has everything, doesn't play fair, is a cheating, lying jerk who wants to humiliate an idiot. But the idiot he chose is the embodiment of divine karma. He's a good-hearted innocent who doesn't mean to do anything bad. He's just that goddamn stupid.

4. Crass, stupid American humor doesn't amuse this crass, stupid American. American comedies are more miss than hit for me. I've never laughed at Friends, the Office, and I maybe tittered once or twice at Seinfeld. I avoid any comedy film more recent than circa 1990. I saw two minutes of "There's Something About Mary" and knew I would not be enjoying American comedy again for years to come. I used to get some chuckles out of Family Guy but honestly that show now disgusts me. More so for being stale and trying to constantly push an envelope that has long since been torn in half, burned, and shat on, but I digress. To quote a review, "Dinner for Schmucks offers gags involving gonorrhea, the clitoris, pompous modern artists and public humiliation." EWWWWW, WTF? Additionally, making matchstick landmarks isn't edgy enough [never mind that it wasn't supposed to be!] so they make the idiot play with dead mice instead. This is what constitutes a joke these days, folks: STDs and dead animals. No thanks, keep it.

5. My God, the damn poster. Just scroll up look that that effin' thing. To exasperated Rudd's douchetastically palming his face--facepalm doesn't work when you LOOK AT THE CAMERA--to Steve Carell's smug, bug-eyed "I may or may not be a pedophile who just peed in your swimming pool" crazy-stare, this poster induces so much rage I want to poop in your mother's purse while she sits in church.

I'll take an old French comedy over this crap any day of the week and even some days that don't exist yet.