"Mean Bloggers" Make Steve Harvey Cry

Warning, this is over 8 minutes long and watching the whole thing may be painful. Not in the "poor Steve Harvey" way or "Oh, jeez, grown man blubbering on TV. AWKWARD" way, but in the "why the hell am I watching this? Oh God, is this my life? I should go bang my head in the wall" way:


Firstly, I haven't heard of Steve Harvey since commercials for episodes of the Steve Harvey show back in 2002 or whatever. So I see this video and he's all "boo hoo, mean bloggers". Apparently he was being called out for being a bigot, among other things, and the internet is flooded with smack on the guy. Why?

Well, apparently not believing in God means a person has no moral compass. Note Tyra's uncomfortable rendition of the "polite titter":

[VIDEO ORIGINALLY HERE WAS TAKEN DOWN, BOO HOO.]
He also called atheists "idiots" on Larry King. Ironically, the transcript on that page has Joy Behar telling Steverino: "'Cause it’s a free country, thank goodness." Then Stevie wants to cry later about "mean bloggers"? I didn't see him considering any atheists' feelings. Don't dish it if you can't take it.

He has also profited from the above through a best-selling book, a paper brick with large font and a larger name full of gems like this one:

M]y girls and my concern for the future inspire me [to write this book] as well. They will all grow up and reach for the same dream most women do: The husband. Some kids. A house. A happy life. True love.

He forgot baking cookies, sewing ripped crotches on pants, and giving head dressed as June Cleaver.

Let me make it clear that I am not an atheist and don't really care what them or anyone else gets called by Steve Harvey, a person of modest celebrity that has never had a place of relevancy in my life. But sheesh, Steve, if you're gonna go calling a whole group of people idiots and dogging on their beliefs, don't be so damn surprised to find them biting back at you. What's more, who says you even have to read it? Doesn't your religion teach "turning the other cheek" or somethin'?

I will close with a quote from our pal Steve Harvey. Remember children, haters gonna hate, players gonna play, bloggers gonna blog:

You know, the Internet has become this place for evil to dwell. Y’unnerstand? They… people who blog… who have no sense of reality… they just blog about you–don’t even know you! I got kids, man, be reading stuff that ain’t true ’bout their father. You understand? I know you know. Because they–they–they–people just blog!

Frisco bans the Happy Meal; Fat-asses Rage

In case you haven't heard about this already, straight from the horse's mouth... the horse in this instance being a reliable old nag known as the Associated Press:


Or for the simpler, readable version, here's a quote from Top News Buzz:

San Francisco recently passed a law which states that breaks down the concept of giving away free toys accompanies with unhealthy restaurant meals for children. The San Francisco Board of Supervisors passed the law last Tuesday and had an 8-3 vote. This law would take effect on December 1, 2010.

The crazy thing is that people are actually all, "Boo, our personal freedoms! Y!" HUH? Child obesity in this country is nuts, everybody knows that. Why should a business be allowed to profit from this?

From Happy Meal insanity:

"When George Orwell wrote about government control in his novel 1984, McDonald's hadn't even invented the Happy Meal yet."

I KNEW blankety-blank Orwell would come up somewhere. This is because Orwell supported the U.S. becoming OBSCENELY FAT. Four legs good, two legs baaaad!

In How Banning Happy Meals Could Make Kids Fatter, the guy's reasoning is that kids will get their fattening meal plus toy elsewhere. Um no, it's not just the Happy Meal, it's all kids' meals. Nice try. Unless little Katelyn wants to ride her Schwinn to Oakland.

From Fast Food, Happy Meals, and Legislating Personal Responsibility:

It should be your right to make bad choices for your child; send them into a lifetime of bad habits; foster your child’s life of gross obesity; and set the stage for your child’s early death.

Look, I am not a parent, I speak out as someone that was often tossed a Happy Meal when I was a child. My parents' idea of fostering healthy living was buying skim milk to go with my giant slice of chocolate cake and half-dozen Oreos. I rather wish that, when I was a child, SOMEBODY had made the available food choices healthier.

As a person who developed weight problems as a child and then had it balloon to 210 lbs. in early adulthood, no, I do not think it's okay to preserve a parent's right to completely ruin their child's health. As a little girl, I was never educated by anyone on what to eat or how much. According to public opinion, this is clearly because I didn't have any "personal responsibility". Sure, I was only nine years old when I started packing on weight, but I should've had personal responsibility and demanded broccoli! Since you can't see me, I'M ROLLING MY EYES.

I mean, shit, did you really expect my parents to do it for me? My dad's idea of a "snack" is pieces of breaded, fried catfish in between two slices of white bread. My mom's idea of desert is half a cake, a pack of M&M's, and an ice cream cone. (But only one because she already had cake.) Hyuck! "But it's the right of people like that to fuck up your health!" You know what? FUCK YOU.

Saying crap like "America, learn responsibility!" makes the assumption that everyone has the tools, knowledge, and ability to make healthy eating choices. Of course, upper middle-class and rich people are especially stupid in this regard since the bulk of them are ridiculously blind of their own socioeconomic advantages. This is a country where you can't even give away rye and pumpernickel to poor people! How much control do you think a kid has in a household with other obese people? Adults who refuse to change? No money, no support of any kind in the home, so what chance do these children have? Can we at least start with the damn kids' meals?

The notion that this is ruling somehow Orwellian in nature is utterly ridiculous. Nobody's made it illegal to buy junior a Big Mac with fries and a large Coke. Nobody's made it illegal for McDonald's the repackage the current Happy Meal as a Mini-Combo and sell the toy seperately. You can buy the toy on its own already. The nature of the Happy Meal is in that it's aimed at children. By packaging the toy, it is specifically branded to children. Why was it okay for them to nix Joe Camel (which I don't agree with at all, but whatever) but Ronald and the ol' Golden Arches can throw a bunch of breaded salt into a fryer and market that shit directly to children? The least that can be done is to make the actual meal healthier. Why should stuff marketed to children be allowed to contribute to serious health issues later on in life?

The Mess That is MySpace

MySpace used to be fun. Anyone else remember that? The joy when you first created your account. You chose a nickname. You put a picture of whatever you felt like putting. You controlled exactly what information you felt like giving. You added music however you wanted to, like through Project Playlist. And you went to band pages and could actually download the songs if they allowed you to. You jerked around with the page colors, the scroll bar, using and abusing CSS and even hotlinking in the process. Who cared?

I wasn't one those that was there from the start. I recall sometime around 2004 when my younger co-workers at the time were going on about MySpace. I wanted to view someone's pics but needed an account so I got one and fiddled with it here and there. That was that. I don't remember exactly when it took a turn for the worse. It may have been what appeared to be an upsurge of human trash trying to laid and/or stoned. For all I know, they could've always have been there along with the spammers.

People were always so damn suspicious. "Who's dat! Who's dat friending me?" And all I could think of was "Jeez, you think you're waaaaay more important than you actually are, you know that?" There was big stinkin' worry about being stalked. Hey, you know what? You put information out there, you get stalked. Especially since some of the said whiners were the type to bombard their profiles with personal photographs (some of illicit activities) and would put down their school, address, full name, phone number, etc. I never got that. Wouldn't your real flesh-in-blood friends already have that info? Why would you need to put it on the internet? Most laughable were those folks that'd put everything on private as if they were actually successfully hiding anything. It kinda seemed to defy the entire point of MySpace, which felt like a public forum to interact with others. Perhaps early on it had that Facebook feel of exclusivity, but it certainly never felt that way to me. Maybe I'm in the minority.

The change with the music is what I noticed first. Not being able to download mp3s anymore was a bummer. I remember sitting in the office on campus and wanting music in the background as I worked. Hopping around profiles of bands I friended, I'd play their entire music list and then move on to someone else. Myspace even put in an option of making a playlist although my memory of that feature is a little more vague. Then, one day, the music stopped. Huh? Turned out it stopped for an AD. What the hell's the point of a music playlist when it STOPS for advertising? A playlist is designed to play the fuck through. If you need to put in ads, why didn't something just pop up on the MySpace screen I was at or why didn't an audio ad interrupt the music and then move its ass right along?

That blue bar at the bottom got a real WTF from me. I'm not even sure I know what that is. I hated that thing on Facebook and was so glad when it was no longer a pest. Seems MySpace never got that memo. I was typing in a blog entry and the bar began obscuring the bottom lines of my text. Wow, they didn't even make it smart enough to move out of the way.

Then MySpace started whoring out a free e-mail service, which they continue to do so to this very day. Just who the heck wouldn't have a free e-mail account already? Hotmail/MSN, Excite, Yahoo, Gmail... I've had 'em all. Even specialty mails... dead-and-gone dbzmail and Xenafan mail. Hello Kitty e-mail. Seems like every fandom had a free e-mail account, especially ten years ago. Domain's have their own e-mail too so there's also that. Why the hell would anyone need or want myspace e-mail? Ew. It's right up there with MySpace wanting people to download some chatting IM thing. I was sick of IMing and sick of IM software *cough*AIM*cough* putting shitloads of spyware on my comp.

In trying to become the trashier cousin of Facebook in some of its features, MySpace has managed to passably attempt to be streamlined but still not succeeding. In my Friends Requests, I'd be able to open each person up in a new tab so I could look at their profile before I accepted. Now this isn't possible. WHY? YouTube did this shit, too. Now when I went to look at multiple links from the same YouTube page, I have to open up the user channel in a new tab (and that's if the vids I want to see even exist on the same channel) or go back and search the vid again. Dumb. Dumb dumb dumb. We live in a world of tabbed browsing. Don't fight it, guize.

I also got the grossest Match.com advertisement haunting me. "Hey B E C K, these GROSS UGLY-ASS GHETTO-TASTIC 'MEN' [and I use that word loosely] YOU'D NEVER GO FOR IN A MILLION YEARS are looking for a woman like you." EWWWW. I nearly threw up. If the ad hadn't eventually changed to something else, I would've logged out and not come back. I wanted to change my gender on the profile to not reflect female and you can't do that. I remember not having it listed for a while when I first started using MySpace. That's a stupid option to take away. I HATE HATE HATE gender specific advertising.

One thing I always felt MySpace had over Facebook was the profile customizations, especially where color is concerned. Let's face it, blue and white is a big fat bore. However, MySpace appears uninterested in playing to this strength. I'm still using the old profile layout. I've tried twice to change to the new one and can't bring myself to do it. It's just UGLY AS ASS. Not to mention it has the poorest ad placement ever. Yech.

A musical tone just played while I was logged in and I have no idea what just happened. That pretty much summarizes things. I've written too damn much anyway. Who cares? You didn't.

Cathy Ending, World Rejoices

'Cathy' Comic Strip Comes to an End. AAACK!

OMG, YES. Yes, please let this end. If I see one more strip where she tries to fit her lard ass into a swimsuit or whines about chocolate, I'll draw pr0n of Irving totally wrecking Blondie and Miss Buxley out of sheer spite.

The Cathy strip is 34 years old. THIRTY. FOUR. At what point in time do you think the vision died? How do you do even 20 years of something like Cathy and keep it fresh? I remember when a bunch of the comics got trimmed down. At that point, I could go several Sundays not even reading the comics because I didn't care anymore. One day I had read all I felt like reading but, suddenly, I needed to take a big dump. That Irving had actually married Cathy shocked the poop outta me. Why do you buy the cow, Irving? The milk. It was free. Oh so free, insecure, and willing with the tiniest bit of flattery. Now you are chained to her forever. You fool, Irving. Meh. Maybe he was lonely and afraid to die alone. It's happened to better drawn men than Irving.

Someone on some other blog was--to paraphrase completely--all "Well, it had to end or it'd be like Family Circus, hyuck." Cathy at its worst could not compete with Family Circus. Family Circus is something else that needs to die. I believe that comic is immortal like the effin' Highlander. Not only will it never die, but it cuts off the heads of other comics and keeps itself alive. I think I might've seen it eyeing Hi & Lois. How many of these comics are older than the average newspaper readership? Not that I think they should all be put to pasture but, hey, just think about it.

One of Cathy Guisewite's excuses for ending Cathy was because she has "an 18-year old daughter who needs a full-time mom to help her through her last year of high school." BWUH? That's an adult. She didn't need a full-time mom back when she was A CHILD? Whatev. Guisewite also said that "other personal deadlines started becoming more pressing for me than the newspaper ones" which sounds like Super BS. But, you know what? No one needs any excuse to end Cathy. THIRTY. FOUR. Did I say that already? For every year I have breathed air, there has been Cathy sucking that air away. "TAKING YOUR AIR! OH NO, CARBS! AAAACK!"

And no "Cathy Classic". We have enough of that Peanuts shit as it is. You know what? If you die and didn't draw any new strips, the damn spot should be given to an alive cartoonist. There are other cartoonists. And many of them are alive. And they would LOVE to be published. Just sayin'. I mean, the paper's thin enough as it is. The recession really put the thing on a diet. Advice columnists were cut. Also, other people were cut. Or, like, whatever. You want Schulz so bad, go buy you-self some o' dem Peanuts. Cracker. Wait, this was supposed to be about Cathy. Whatever. Cracker.